Books that suck dicks

57..Finish reading 'Empty Desk':

Well I finished, and even though at first I was so excited to read it, it turned out to be a very very very shitty story.

The plot is kinda good.
But things escalate too quickly.
It's not well written.
It sucks.

No wonder, it's not a professional book, just a Quotev story, same thing to this book called Hearts of ace.

It's not well written, At all..
The main character, is a fucking perfect bitch. I'm talking about a nice huge house, racing cars, bestfriends for life, she has the body the face, the everything, everybody is head over heels for her, she is a good singer, dancer, and EVERYTHING. It's very annoying.
And the plot is so cliché, it hurts, The heartbreaker falls in love with the other heartbreaker whom heart she was supposed to break. And the reason behind the way she breaks hearts and not bones, because she had this horrible past that made her lose her faith in trust. So she became a bad girl. Isn't that just so goddamn cliché?
And also, things escalate too quickly and it just sucks.

Wallflowers everywhere, Yay, Yay

56.Finish reading 'Perks of being a wallflower':

I know I was supposed to read 'The Bell Jar', but it turned out to be aa pretty story, so I've read The Perks of being a wallflower instead, and I've never been more gratefull to that choice I made at that axact second Holy fuck that's like the perfect book to relate to.

I can't relate to the book actually, but I can relate perfectly to Charlie.

Except the fact that I can't kick a group of footballers' asses when I get mad, I'm still a virgin, and I have never been molested by my aunt.

But seriously, through the whole book I felt as if I can understand every decision he has made and every  feeling he felt.

It's like he is me and I am him.

Oh I also don't have a dick, instead I have a vagina. Wow, such a cool magic trick, huh?

And I also have breasts the thing he doesn't have. But I don't know if you could call those weird creatures breasts. They're kinda too flat to be boobies. No but I do have something, okay? Don't judge.

Why the fuck am I discussing my flat-chestness with you guys? You don't even thank me for being this honest with you. Mhm.

Anyway, about the book. It's amazing and you should read it, Period.


Warning: This paragraph would be full of spoilers, so don't go spoil it for others as I did when it got spoiled for me because I warned you motherfucker, Oh yes I did.

I've also read other books, like the second last books of The Hunger Games Trilogy, And damn it, How sad I was when Katniss married Peeta instead of Gale, and she even had BABIES, babies for god's sake!!!!!!!!!!

The Author didn't even give us any updates on Gale, Haymitch, or even Katniss's mother, Yes her own mother. Nothing.

Nothing at all.

How dare she, does she not know that people who have no life gets overly attached to books and therefore a book can break our already broken hearts *Fake cries asking for candy* more than can a hot asutralian guy ever do.

I also read The Fault in our stars, which I didn't like much until Augustus died.
Please don't get me wrong, I'm not a sadist, but I think That was the most important eventfull part of the whole books.

And It's kind of a funny story, which turned out to be better than The movie, since they had a bit of sexy time *Winks shamelessly*

I'm currently reading the last book in th Divergent trilogy which seems to be far better than actually any book, yes even better Than the perks of being a wallflower, or the hunger games (Sorry, Suzanne, but Your obsession with Peeta ruined it.)

I HAVE NO FUTURE

35.Make a plan for the future.

I didn't actually, I just wrote some shit on some paper and then threw it away like it doesn't matter. And it doesn't actually. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow. That's actually how the psychologist I payed a visit that other day told me to behave and talk so I'd heal my social anxiety. He said, the problem I have is that I think before I act, and that always ends up in a hot mess of me stuttering a few vocabulary words I learnt at school, which is totally true. He also said it'd be more better if I just speak up once something pops to my head, Just do it. (Mhm, Nike and him have been probably hooking up..)

Off topic.
Totally off topic.

Anyway, I think I have a few ideas on what I want to do though;

THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL : 

Finish high school ALIVE. 
Read billions of books.
Publish at least one book.
Be able to speak fluently at least one new language.
Get rid of my social awkwardness.
Have so much Fun.

AFTER HIGH-SCHOOL:

Go to this writing shit college in Dhubai.
I think I spelled it wrong but whatever.
Be able to spell Dhubaihdlavgfjuag correctly without Gppgle's help.
Find a guy that'd fit me better than my favorite sweater. (Thank you Lana, for the cheesy sentence)
Have two or Three kids, or adobt them, I don't care.
Have a pet bunny/Kitten/puppy, Or Dinosaur I wouldn't mind ;)
Write and publish as many books as possible.
Find a job that has something to do with travelling.

I have no idea what that job is, but I'm only 15, who cares about my future job.

Anyway, those are just glimpses of what I'd really love to accomplish in the next years. That if I didn't die.

Isn't it just so weird, that you can die at any second right now.

Dear mum, if I died right now, I'm pretty sure you'd be curious to read this shit, thus, if I haven't published this yet, I'd love to ask you to publish it before you go burry me, if I have I'd love to ask you not to read the other posts because they're quite embarrassing, and there is nothing more embarrassing than having any of your family member read your blog.. And also the typos I make, god they make me want to shoot myself. 

Being a sick potato sucks..

Hi, Before you bite me, I sincerly appologize for not blogging for that long of a time, but come on, we all knew I wasn't going to commit, You should be gratefull that I'm back, and I'm really not willing to give up on you like I did to most of the things I started practising, at every age.

And guess what, I'm as sick as a potato can get, even though I've been told potatoes don't get sick.. LIES, It's all lies I'm telling you, LIES..

But hey let's look at the bright side, I get to be a couch potato without feeling guilty, I get treated like a princess(I'm talking about pretty easy to swallow food), I get to sleep until whenever I want, I don't have to go to the grocery shop, I get to avoid phone calls from the outside world people with the permission of having a sore throat, Yeah bitches. Aaaaand for a few days I can pretend that I have no responsibilities, no friends, no life (As if I actually have one), and most importantly, no crush. But that doesn't last much, cause as soon as Facebook work to seduce me, I see that pretty name of his with that girl of that pretty girl that he might have a crush on. No, no, he promised he'd tell me if he ever likes a girl. I should really learn to trust.

But trust me, being sick has more downsides than positive shit,

I can't eat Ice cream and cold stuff.

I can't taste most of that pretty delicious shit, so it's more like feel that gesture of nice food than feel it's taste tickling your throat.

I wake up shivering and once I cover myself I start to sweat.

I stink.

I can't take a cold shower.. nor a hot one because mum is over-protective.

I stink.

I can't go swimming.

I can't talk as much as I always intend to do.

My hair is a mess.

I stink.

So yeah, anyone that disagrees with me should go kill himself, JUST KIDDING, Don't die on me you bitch.

No seriously, here is a gun, feel free to use it any time soon. *Innocent Smile*

(I hope you don't really consider my suggestion, I was honestly just TRYING to be a smartass, no hatred.)

Food, the highlight of family reunions

45.Hang out with cousins.

Yo, Guess who is doing a blogging spree? MEEEEE.
I don't know but I felt like I'm a whiny slut when I screamed that Meeeee 0.0

Anyway, 
This Saturday, My dad's family had a family reunion in my grandmother's house. At first I started reading my Catching Fire book, and then .. I just kept reading it. 

Don't get me wrong, I really love my family, even though mose of my cousins are judgemental hoes, I still love them because we share the same blood and because once we were as close as sisters. But we just don't have that strong bond we used to have when we were younger. No actually the goddamn bond is still the same, It's only I that pulled back. I DONT FUCKING BELONG THERE OKAY. 

All they do is talk about peeps, crushes, botches and jerks, nail polish (They litterally talk about that), and that really doesn't interest me. But they do talk about books from time to time and that's only when I make an appearance. I also show up when it's time to eat. Jesus, I love food. 

So yeah, I just sat with my younger cousins, and started reading my book, while listennig to their retarded funny jokes. 

Oh well, While I was reading, My 21 year old hot bomb guy cousin walked into the room and as always called me an orange. NO I DONT LOOK LIKE AN ORANGE, AND IM NOT ORANGE, It just rhymes with my name. And to my surprise he started talking to me, Like we had this decent conversation about the future and school and hobbies and EVREYTHING. HE NEVER DOES THAT, He normally just calls me an orange and then disappear to hang out with his other cousins. Anyway, I kept blushing the whole conversation cuz dammit I'm that awkward (I geniunely think I should learn how to talk to someone without avoiding his eye contact and constantly blushing or playing with some shit nervously) WHEN he randomly bursted out of freaking nowhere 'You grew up, you really did'. 

Oh well now let's see what did I reply? 

I blushed. I looked away. I laughed. While playing with my phone making this annoying noise. 

Eventually I just left the room in pretext of charging my phone but actually It's just that I was feeling so hoooooooot *.* 

Quack Quack

12. Try something new:

Apparently, My idea of trying new things is very different from the others. Hell, I didn't try riding a roller coaster this holliday (But trust me, I already did, and I kept cursing the guy that controlled that shit, yeah but it's fun I have to admit)

 

Nor did I try to jump off a boat with MY FUCKING CLOTHES AND GET THEM WET. That's no fun, that's just plain stupid. I hate it when a wet Pants-Jeans-Shorts sticking to my ass. One time, My friend tried to splash me with water and I swear I almost ate her (Nothing near the sexual way).

And I also didn't go hiking a mountain, because I'm a little bitch that doesn't want to grab life by the ballsack and I'd rather not participate in life. _______________        This pic killed me -----> 

Noooooo, What I did is TRY A NEW PLATE.
The funny thing is most of you has already ate it, and it's probably their usual plate, but I never tasted it until now, because I'm a stuck up bitch, Yup just like that.

So when I was with My bitch, her mum made us for dinner this mix of chicken and rice with Soya. Well it didn't really suck balls, but I didn't like how it tasted that much, but still I had to eat it cause I found it rude not to... UNTIL, Her little sister spat water on my plate because her mum said something funny.

Yuup.

So yeah, that was my experience trying new shit.
Enjoy. <3 

Rocking the Zombie Appocalypse

7.Spend a whole week with my bestfriend:

9.Have a horror movies marathon!

10.Have a comedy movies marathon!

11.Have a chick flick movies marathon! 

Few weeks ago, I spent a whole effing week with my bestfriend without dying or even going to jail. Yeah, let's just pretend that the shit we do is pretty deadly or dangerous. Hell, we barely get out of the house, unless we really had to. 

Our idea of fun is very different from the other teens, we don't go partying on a Friday night, or go to the Mall Saturday morning, we just chill..

Wee (ARE NEVER EVER EVER GETTING BACK TOGETHER) spent that week shifting from her house to mine to our grandma's... with her little annoying sister following us as if she got stuck in our asses, dammit that's annoying. 

And from the many many useless things we did and that I simply enjoyed we find;

1. Cuddling. 

2. Reading.

3. Watching 2 Broke Girls.

4. Watching Awkward and fangirling about Matty. Later, her lil sis told me how she finds Matty so hot and that she keeps daydreaming about him kissing her cheek.. SHE IS FUCKING 9, But I do appreciate the fact that she just wants him to kiss her cheek not smack her ass while twerking. 

5. Scaring our grandma whenever she wakes up in the middle of the night to eat.

6. Looking at the mirror.

7. Pretending to be spys.

8. Having serious talks.

9. Eating shitty chocolate Ice Cream that my grandpa made.

10. Stalking the librarian guy (Okay I lied, We do go to the library from time to time)

11.Listenning to music.

12. Annoying the fuck out of each other.

13. Stalking each other's phones.

14. Watching Youtubers and dying.

15. WATCHING MOVIES.

Here is a list of the movies we watched actually (If you're interested and because I won't be able to sleep if I didn't tell you, I will sleep but I'll have to imagine I wrote this list so I'd sleep well) :

 Horror movies:

1. Mama:

I really loved the moral, that a mother's love never dies thingy. Brilliant.

2. Oculus:

The movie was amazing I have to admit, BUT I HATED THE END. Don't ask why, I just feel like it's not finished yet, maybe because I'm used to happy endings, but I mean WHY? WHY? I actually really like endings that flip you out of your senses, that fuck your mind up, like the book 'Gone Girl'. Just when you think You got the hang of it, it turns out you're just an ignorant piece of shit. I find those kind of endings really interesting. BUT NOT WHEN IT COMES TO GHOST STORIES. You don't fuck with ghosts, no you just don't do that. You see, I have this habit of not feeling well when a horror movie ends in the bad's victory, It makes me feel as if that bad person or ghost is still out there and just waiting for me to finish the goddamn movie and slaughter me.

3. The house at the end of the street:

SAME THING AS OCULUS. But very awesome tricky plot, I mean who would've thought that the awkward 

Ryan (Max Thieriot) was the insane one after all? LOVELY.

I can't remember any other movies, But I'm sure we watched more..

Chick-flicks (Some of them are also comedy):

1. Warm bodies:

Probably my next favorite movie after The Hunger Games, I'm really not that much of a Zombie's fan but 'R' (Nicholas Hoult) Is one hell of a cute piece of brainless meat. 

2. The Fault In Our Stars:

I didn't watch it with her actually, once I learnt Augustus and Hazel are not as sassy as they seemed to be in the book, I lost all interest in watching it. AND I HATED THAT 'Oh man' He says when she tells him that he just ruined the whole thing. And plus I never really was a fan of a movie based on a book, they just delete too many good details, well except for 'The Perks of being a wallflower', and 'The Hunger Games'. And please, Let's not talk at the Movie quality we found.

3. The perks of being a wallflower:

Not as much as the book but GORGEOUS.

4.Divergent:

Not the best, but it's good, NEVER BETTER THAN THE HUNGER GAMES THOUGH. A little boring.

5.Spectacular Now:

We didn't really watch this movie, we just watched the trailer, and my bitch went crazy about it because it was a love story, and since she watched horror movies with me even though she hated them, I couldn't help but agree to this stupid romantic movie, but the first scene was a very intimate sex scene and we had her little sissy in our company so yeah.. 

I can't remember any other movies we watched for now, because I'm a brainless ZOMBIE. 

I don't think I'd die in a Zombie Appocalypse, I can play the dead very well I must admit.I think I might even be helpful to them zombies, teaching them new dances, and new moves. 

Oh well Goodnight sweety. ♥

A bag with no potatoes

P.S: Only smartass people will understand the relation between the title and the post itself.

P.S2: Since I'm feeling very hot and lazy, I just copied and past this from my journal, but I did do some changes though. 

WARNING: This post is not so well written, so prepare your buckets my ladies (You must be retarded to know what I'm talking about cause that was a retarded metaphore, just like my life okay soz)

Oh well hello everyone (I think I watched too much Tyler Oakley's vids), sorry for disappearing and no I didn’t leave to jump off a cliff.

This last week has been full of bloody related events;

I redesactivated my facebook to avoid my crush because he started distancing himself from me but a week later he asked my bitch (New nickname for my sissy) why did I desactivate my facebook after over a week, and she replied ‘Because she hates people’ ‘I’m people too so she hates me?’ ‘No, But she thinks you lie to her’ ‘How?’ ‘She thinks you tell her fine things while you’re lying’ ‘Oh Okay, FINE, Sorry to disturb you’ …

That fucking broke my heart, I don’t why or how, But I just felt my heart breaking, I don’t know I just felt like I can’t trust anyone, I mean she told him the things I made her promise not to tell, the things that someone should never tell his crush’s bestfriend, Right? I think one should cover up for his bestfriend, lie with them, not expose them, Jeez. I got mad, sad, everything, so I did the one thing I always do when I don’t know what to do, I self-harmed.

It was a stupid thing to self-harm over,  but really I’ve been feeling very down and low those past weeks over several things, It’s like everything and everyone is slipping away from me and I’m still not ready to let go. I don’t want to let go of those walls I’ve lost control over, I still want to rule my life. But it outrunned me and now I’m lost and broken.

But hey that’s not just it, just when I was about to wear some long sleeved shit to hide the 3 scratches I made on my forearm and the over 20 (Yesh, I actually counted them)  hideous looking scars I marked on the underside of my wrist, mum walked in on me. Since my arm was still exposed, I tried to hide my wrist in the crook of my neck, I don’t even know how, but I just did this very awkward position where my arm was almost struggling my neck and shoulder or Idek what that part is called in a way you can’t see the freshly made cuts. I was a frickin’ Hot mess. 

Mum was shocked, terrified, disappointed, she had that look you’d do anything to run away from, I wished I would turn blind just so I wouldn’t have to see her as disappointed as that. I swear I could’ve almost heard my heart breaking as well as hers if it was silent enough. She didn’t say anything, she just looked at me in such disgust.

I can’t recall what happened later, cause I was very nervous, and I'm too lazy to write, and also It's so hot I can't even focus well. But I can assure you, It was the worst night of my whole fucking life.

We did hug at the end and she forgave me, but as she said herself ‘No matter what, nothing could make me unfeel what I felt, nothing could bring me back to the way I was before I saw that, and I’d be lying if I said I’m completely Okay’ and it’s all because of me. She made me promise to never ever harm myself again, now look at me, I don’t even dare think of hurting myself in any way.

Guilt is eating me alive, it has been 2 days but I still can sense the horror in her eyes. Cause she is right after all, no matter how hard I try, I don’t think I can ever make her unfeel what I made her feel, The damage I made upon her is unfixable, and it’s killing me inside.

But somehow, that made me realize how ungratefull I was for having a loving parents and an annoying as fuck brother. It made me realize that I have what I have, and that’s only what I get, and I should be happy about it and make the best out of it. I think it made me mature and fearless.. sorta.

You probably can’t understand the fearless part because it has nothing to do with it. But after we finished talking, hugging, crying and shouting. I felt like now that my biggest secret is exposed, I should let go of my other secrets as well, and guess what I did.

......

I CONFESSED TO MY CRUSH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I reactivated my facebook, and told him that I don’t hate people I just strongly dislike most of people because they’re selfish annoying bastards, and I don’t think he lies to me, that was ages ago when we had our first fight (Idk if I already blogged about it, but we had this fight because of trust issues, lying and back-stabbing) and I actually desactivated my facebook because I was trying to avoid him, and I ended up telling him how I have a major crush on him and how that’s wrong on so many levels, cause like we’re very good friends and I’m so not his type (He goes for Otakus, and ultimate gamers, or those with a huge ass and a perfect face. And I? Oh well I’m just a bag of potatoes I guess).

I swear he did his best trying to friendzone me in an unharmful way trying to sugar coat it with ‘I’m useless’ ‘You deserve better’ ‘I’m no good for you’ and all that shit, but I told him to cut the bullcrap and tell me he doesn’t like me back straight away without the sweet friendzonning shit, and he just replied with ‘I don’t dislike you’.

Isn’t that sweet?

Hell yesh it is.

The weird thing, is I felt very good afterwards –apart from the guilt-. I don’t know why but  wasn’t hurt at all.

It’s a very great feeling to not have secrets at all (I still have a few I’ll let go of once it’s time to). 

It almost feels as if I’m just a bag, with no potatoes. I feel thin and light. LIKE I CAN FLY MOTHERFUCKER.

Anyway, What I resoled from all this shit, is that sometimes seeing people happy is a great happiness in itself.

Now making people (My family, close friends, strangers that I haven’t realized they’re selfish bastards yet and my readers) happy is my first priority. Even above mine.

Once I'll finish photoshopping it, I'll add a 'funny' picture that might explain the title, kinda? 

__